sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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