If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
