he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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