He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
