My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
