I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Small penises have feelings too.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
