Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why do cheetos always look like penises
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
