Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
