help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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