i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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