Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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