Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
