Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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