She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
