Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
