Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
