fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize