they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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