You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
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Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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