He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Shame - the story of my life.
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