Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.