My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.