Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
