the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
