Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong