just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
