bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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