So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
