she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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