And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
organizing the empties. That sober.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
