READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
