is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize