so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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