Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
