I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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