I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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