Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
