guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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