Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i will never coherently bang her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
