I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
