My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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