Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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