similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
