Define "chronic" masturbator.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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