3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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