I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i jhust puked up my retainher.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
