There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
