I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
