2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
