i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
