You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
