the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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