There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize