i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
