I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
