You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
