so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
