good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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