how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
