I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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