I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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