My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
