I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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