the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
