I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
