thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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