My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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